Thursday, July 20, 2006

Breakout!


I am sure the picture above clearly conveys the point of this post but I will explain in case you are not up on your 1980's video game watercolor art. Just like the guys on the cover of this cartridge, a couple of Wiffleball for Alcohol's players are experiencing a Breakout!:

Moleman: With a big, loopy, Happy Gilmore-esque swing, it really isn't a surprise that Mike is capable of sending the ball a long way. The real surprise is that he actually hit the ball. Mike struggled at the plate last year but has finally found a way to connect (A-button?). Mike is currently second in totals hits with 10, including one donger. Prego!

Pete: Pete is a veteran of WFA but has never had a season like this. His offensive numbers have spiked, putting him on the leaderboard for walks and runs scored. The real breakout! has been in his pitching. To tell you the truth, I don't even remembered if he has ever pitched wiffle before. I have seen him hurl purple and green chunks on a dog once, but that is a whole other story. Even so, both performances were nasty. His fastball fanned 7 batters in an 8-inning shutout that could only be described as a 'white out.' Watch out for Pete on the mound the second half of this season. (He is the really pale Irish guy).


Zack: Zack "the Hack" Prima is experiencing a micro-breakout! but a breakout! nonetheless. A rookie in the WFA league this year, Zack was hitless in the first five games while racking up 10 strikeouts. Wankees manager Russell Bertrum Diemer III seriously contemplated sending the young greenhorn down to the minor leagues until he sobered up and realized there is no such thing. Perhaps RB did have some words of encouragement because Zack has gone on a tear since. Zack has recorded a hit in each of the last five games and raised his average by an remarkable .219 (up from .000). This recent surge may give him the edge over an impressive class of Rookie of the Year hopefuls (Chris Prima).


Frank: Frank is another veteran of WFA and has been a respectable player for his entire career. While he struggled to maintain a .200 batting average, he was valued in years past for his spotless defense and cunning wiffleball mind. This year, however, Frank has dominated in just about every area of the game. A hot bat and a blazing fastball has put Frank on nearly every single leaderboard. More importantly, he is leading his team to a first place record. This has truly been a breakout! year for Frankie. Well that's all great and everything Francis, but let's see you do that in a cow suit.

That isn't a taunt...I really want to see you play wiffle in a cow suit.

2 Comments:

Anonymous Mick said...

Wait, I always thought Frank was wearing a human suite ?!?

24/7/06 6:20 PM

 
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