Le Blog de Mofo

Vote!

2006-07-26T21:45:00.000-04:00

This is my friend Neil. He is in a popular rock band called The Relay.

Click HERE and look down on the left to vote for The Relay so they can open for The Spin Doctors and Sister Hazel. Otherwise some cry-baby emo band might win and it would all be your fault.

Breakout!

2006-07-20T23:03:00.000-04:00

I am sure the picture above clearly conveys the point of this post but I will explain in case you are not up on your 1980's video game watercolor art. Just like the guys on the cover of this cartridge, a couple of Wiffleball for Alcohol's players are experiencing a Breakout!:

Moleman: With a big, loopy, Happy Gilmore-esque swing, it really isn't a surprise that Mike is capable of sending the ball a long way. The real surprise is that he actually hit the ball. Mike struggled at the plate last year but has finally found a way to connect (A-button?). Mike is currently second in totals hits with 10, including one donger. Prego!

Pete: Pete is a veteran of WFA but has never had a season like this. His offensive numbers have spiked, putting him on the leaderboard for walks and runs scored. The real breakout! has been in his pitching. To tell you the truth, I don't even remembered if he has ever pitched wiffle before. I have seen him hurl purple and green chunks on a dog once, but that is a whole other story. Even so, both performances were nasty. His fastball fanned 7 batters in an 8-inning shutout that could only be described as a 'white out.' Watch out for Pete on the mound the second half of this season. (He is the really pale Irish guy).

Zack: Zack "the Hack" Prima is experiencing a micro-breakout! but a breakout! nonetheless. A rookie in the WFA league this year, Zack was hitless in the first five games while racking up 10 strikeouts. Wankees manager Russell Bertrum Diemer III seriously contemplated sending the young greenhorn down to the minor leagues until he sobered up and realized there is no such thing. Perhaps RB did have some words of encouragement because Zack has gone on a tear since. Zack has recorded a hit in each of the last five games and raised his average by an remarkable .219 (up from .000). This recent surge may give him the edge over an impressive class of Rookie of the Year hopefuls (Chris Prima).

Frank: Frank is another veteran of WFA and has been a respectable player for his entire career. While he struggled to maintain a .200 batting average, he was valued in years past for his spotless defense and cunning wiffleball mind. This year, however, Frank has dominated in just about every area of the game. A hot bat and a blazing fastball has put Frank on nearly every single leaderboard. More importantly, he is leading his team to a first place record. This has truly been a breakout! year for Frankie. Well that's all great and everything Francis, but let's see you do that in a cow suit.

That isn't a taunt...I really want to see you play wiffle in a cow suit.

Stats! - Week 10

2006-07-20T00:05:00.000-04:00

League Scoreboard
Total Individual Stats
Batting Leaders
Pitching Leaders

Links provided by the Earl of Grey

Stats!!!

2006-06-19T20:48:00.000-04:00

I know a lot of your are in serious Wiffleball for Alcohol withdraw because we didn't play this weekend. Thanks to Pete (for the webspace) these stats will help ease the shakes you are having.

Overall League Standings
Individual League Leaders
Offense - Click the right arrow to see other teams
Defense - Click the right arrow to see other teams

More to come.

Draft Analysis: Jake's Squad

2006-06-08T21:38:00.000-04:00

Skipper: Jake “The Polish Snake" Czerwin
- strengths: veteran manager; excels at finding new interpretations of the rules to benefit his team; led league in walks last year, low earned run average in ‘05
- weaknesses: science has not found one yet

Matthew “Chief Wiggum” Witham esq.
- strengths: one arm power swing, dominate pitcher; loves ~~Wiffleball for~~ Alcohol more than anyone on the field;

- weaknesses: one arm power swing only connected twice last year…twice

Nick “Top Heavy” Staib

- strengths: Jake's second choice in draft AKA a "sandwich pick"; led league in hits; lefty; front line pitcher; makes for an easy choice if we ever want to have a bobblehead day
- weaknesses: much better hockey player; creates problematic shadow over field when he reaches second base; Witham might not understand draft lingo and mistake Staib for an actual sandwich

Pat “Mullin-Mullet” Mullin

- strengths: spending offseason in Latin America honing skills; brings back the spirit of the ’93 Phils with his new mullet

- weaknesses: recently turned into a goddamned hippie

Mike “Human Rain Delay” Evans
- strengths: quintessential sleeper pick, solid defense, patient hitter..2nd in walks in ‘05
- weaknesses: might be late for 2006 season

Neil “Saint Bonerface” Kremer
- strengths: brings patience to the plate; only swings at the good pitches
- weaknesses: The Relay? More like Error Supply

Katie “Blumpkin Betty” Leckel
- strengths: surprising good fielder; one of the most effective trash talkers in league
- weaknesses: defense can be lackadaisical: tends to fall asleep in the outfield from time to time

Draft Analysis: Frank's Squad

2006-05-25T22:10:00.000-04:00

Skipper: Frank "The Skank" Gavin
- strengths:first time manager; wealth of wiffleball knowledge; good fielder; great potential as pitcher
- weaknesses: needs to bring up batting average; needs to polish pitching game: blazing fastball + no control = quick walks for opposing batters; doesn't wear the Cow Suit nearly enough

Gia "G -had" Hy-Hynuyhahya-ba
- strengths: living homerun legend...all-time WFA longball leader; effortless swing, lefty, good fielder
- weaknesses: some question whether first draft pick snub will be source of motivation or catalyst for bouts of Balco-fueled beserkers.

Brett "The Scientest" McDowell
- strengths: flame-thrower on the mound; RBI machine; undoubtedly the most scientific player in the league but doesn't mind getting his hands dirty....just ask Anne.
- weaknesses: chocolate; bubble baths; men in uniform

Pete "Earl Grey" Kennedy
- strengths: hometown hero; clutch hitter; draws many comparisons to Whitey Ford
- weaknesses: batting average is sitting right on the Mendoza Line; hometown may be too far of a drive

Mike "Moleman" Oleck
- strengths: looking to build on gains made last year; known to crush meatballs at the plate; also known to hit easy pitches well while up at bat; has big, loopy, powerful swing like pressing the B button in Nintendo baseball
- weaknesses: lacks contact of A button

Willy "The Swede" Hohman
- strengths: good on-base %; 4th in league in hits; the Swedes got serious speed
- weaknesses: led the league in strikeouts; many doubt that he will pass the league stringent Cheddar Testing Program

Anne "The Locust" Ogden
- strengths: takes a lot of balls: 3rd in walks in '05; tenacious defense: swarms to cover the whole field
- weaknesses: is a girl

Draft Analysis: Dirty Bert's Squad

2006-05-10T22:56:00.000-04:00

Skipper: Russell "Dirty Bert" Bertrum III

- strengths: new manager this year but Wiffleball for Alcohol veteran; good all around player; world-class chugger

- weaknesses: needs to manage team with two rookies; has to step up to be second pitcher; needs to get this game face back.

Jack "Sack Attack" Storm
- strengths: 1st overall draft pick; strike out machine; innings eater; undisputed ace

- weaknesses: maturity may be an issue: after being drafted, he got drunk and bet $6000 he would strike out every single batter in '06

Matt "Mick" McConnell
- strengths: some argue that he is the best offensive weapon in the league: excellent motor, led league in on-base %, 2nd in homers.

- weaknesses: two beers gets him higher than his laughable ERA.

Chris "Mysterioso Uno" Prima
- strengths: has the element of surprise on his side; Beer Pong championship runner-up proves that he knows his way around the solo cup; motivation should be strong...beat "Ur Beat" Evans.

- weaknesses: rookie season may be difficult...it takes most wifflers at least one season to adjust to gameday hangovers and mud butt.

Matthew "College" Carney

- strengths: has excellent baseball knowledge at the plate; only collegiate ballplayer in league; solid defense: only WFA player to turn a double play with cigarette in one hand and beer in the other.

- weaknesses: dismal pitching career so far; only person I know that buys Jimmy Buffett albums

Zack "El Mysterioso Dos" Prima

- strengths: also a beer pong runner-up; scouting report from Six Poopers shows that he thrives in the late innings; element of surprise also key

- weaknesses: element of surprise is double-edged sword: he could throw like a girl. We just don't know.

Lauren "Hates that last name rhymes with Smelly" Skelly

- strengths: tied for second most hits among all girls in '05, completely dedicated to the game...sleeps with her mitt.

- weaknesses: doesn't think farts are funny at all.

Draft Results!

2006-05-06T14:40:00.000-04:00

It wasn't easy but the draft has finally been conducted. RB won the lottery and was awarded first pick.

DRAFT	#	Dirty Bert	#	Frank	#	Jake
Round 1	1	Jack	2	Gia	3	Witham
Round 2	6	Mick	5	Brett	4	Staib
Round 3	7	Chris	8	Pete	9	Pat
Round 4	12	Carney	11	Moleman	10	Evans
Round 5	13	Zack	14	Willy	15	Neil
Bitches	18	Lauren	17	Anne	16	Katie

Opening Day is scheduled for Memorial Day.

Wiffleball for Alcohol: 2006

2006-05-03T00:13:00.000-04:00

“Spring” by Walt Whitman

The songbird may whistle
As it nests amongst the thistle
But spring is still just shit
If there is no wiffle.

I came across this poem while reading Leaves of Grass and thought it kinda fit the purpose of this post. Spring is here and to most people it means budding flowers, rising temperatures and Easter egg hunts. To people like me, however, spring means allergies, girls sporting their sluttiest new outfits and, of course, Wiffleball For Alcohol.

Last season could not have been more competitive. Each team had its highs and lows but none of them could establish any sort of dominance. On the other hand, none of the teams sucked butt. Extra weekends were played in an effort to seperate the stronger from the strong but in the end, no two teams were strongiest. The summer ended with each team deadlocked at 8-8. (Somehow Witham predicted the three team push and won $25,000 in Vegas.)

This season, our fourth, looks to build on the excellent play from last year with some new player additions, new teams and some new rules. There are two main rule changes. The first is a tie-breaker system to make sure this year yeilds a true champion. We have heard some good suggestions so far but will wait until draft night to decide which system we will use. (The front runner: tie-breaker = most runs scored - runs allowed + on-field upchucks.)

The other new rule has to do with proper field safety. The summers in this area can get extremely hot and Nurse (Blumpkin) Betty has brought to our attention a potential hazard: dehydration. We need to be drinking more booze folks. This year will feature a team beer intake minimum. We haven't set the number yet but every team will need to devise a beer-slamming strategy: spread the brews throughout the lineup or assign a designated (beer-bong) hitter. (RB just became a first round pick.)

We got the booze, we got the balls...and the yellow bats...its time for Wiffleball for Alcohol: 2006.

Bet Results!!!

2006-03-26T18:45:00.000-05:00

Looks like I won the "Bet you can't put up a Weekly-Whatcha-Wanna-Make-A-Bet post for over two months" bet.

Weekend-Whatcha-Wanna-Make-A-Bet Roundup: 1/22/06

2006-01-23T12:24:00.000-05:00

The first weekend of Whatcha-Wanna-Make-A-Bet featured five money shots, an awkard pull-out and the beginning of a month-long mustache ride. Sounds like one of Brett's pornos, right? Wrong (in Brett-voice). All three events took place at the hallowed Delcastle football field on a brisk Sunday afternoon. Moleman had bet that Gia and Witham could not hit 5 out of 10 field goals from the 25-yard line (@ a 35-yard FG). What was in the pot? The loser would have to grow out a mustache (no other facial hair) and keep it for one month. The kickers laced up their cleats, took the field and took a couple practice shots. This is when things got a little ugly. Witham displayed what has to be one of the strangest kicking techniques ever used on a football field. Firstly, he lined up a mere three yards behind the ball. This, of course, is the limit of Witham's running range. Secondly, he does not take a few side steps like all orthodox kickers. Instead he stands directly behind the ball before making his charge. And what does this unorthodox style produce? Absolute unorthdox crap. Of his ten or so practice attempts, not one ball reached an elevation of more than seven feet. In fact, not one ball passed the 10-yard line before flying out of bounds. While he may suck at kicking, he is an expert gambler. Rather than continue with the bet as promised and lose miserably, he simply said "Fuck this...I'm not playing." There is probably some slang term from Vegas that Evans and Witham use to describe this move, but I don't know what it is.

Gi-Had on the other hand, was lights out. With his trademark cool demeanor, Gia nailed five of his first seven attempts. He was so good he couldn't even be bothered to kick the last three to wipe it in Moleman's soon to be hairy face. In fact, there were even whispers that he could kick 70-yarders. Despite the speculation, the outcome was painfully clear (and funny): Gia looked like Denver great Jason Elam, Witham looked like Sebastian Jankowski after a night at Score's and Moleck looked like a man resigned to his fate as a creepy looking guy with a 'stache. (For the girls and non-sport fans, Sebastian Jankowski is a first round draft pick kicked who turned into a raging alcohol and is utterly unreliable. I am sure that paints a pretty good picture of Matthew. If only Witham's toe was as good in the clutch as it is in the hot tub.)

Sorry this took forever

2005-08-16T02:23:00.000-04:00

When Mike Evans, Gia Huynh-ba and Willy Holman met a few months ago to draft wiffleball teams, few would have guessed that it would eventually turn into a threeway..............tie. Throughout seven weekends of intense competition, the three teams battled each other to claim Wiffle supremacy. When the dust settled, however, each team ended up with a 7-7 record. Never before have teams in any organized sport finished with closer records. Never. Ever.

That's some great fucking wiffle ball.

I know people want some closure to this league, especially the bookies. We haven't been able to come up with a suitable system to decide a winner yet. I now ask the readers of this blog to help us out. Leave a comment and tell us how to break this deadlock. If not, I guess I will see you all at the case race around Thanksgiving. Please don't tell RB about this. He is a machine.

Thanks everybody. I had fun.

Europa!

Talking Shop: Frank Gavin

2005-06-23T03:22:00.000-04:00

Le Blog de Mofo gets thousands of e-mails per week regarding a whole range of topics. While it is true that most come under the header "Get your degree today!" or "Your ChicksWithDicks.com membership is about to expire," the majority of e-mails are about Frank. Frank Gavin is to Wiffleball for Alcohol as Wilt Chamberlain was to the NBA. (if you don't understand that reference, its okay. just click here, stupid.) Fortunately for WFA, Frank took a moment out of his busy skank-schedule to talk a little shop.

p-i-m-p.

Jake: Frank, you have played in various softball and baseball leagues in the past but this is your first real season in Wiffleball for Alcohol...what are the differences between those pansy leagues and ours?

Frank: Well Jake, the most obvious difference is the lack of gatorade and water, and the superfluous array of beers. Oh and don't forget about the occasional bowl pack thanks to my favorite coach in the whole world.

Frank: Also, the commitment to the league is very high. Much higher than in any other league I’ve been a part of.

Jake: Excellent.

Frank: Everybody takes each and every game seriously.

Jake: I agree.

Jake: Okay next question.

Jake: Now that we have reached the All-Star (Fathers' Day) Break, what do you think of the competition between the teams so far?

Frank: There's no doubt that everybody is in this to win. Because of this, tensions run high and tempers sometimes flair up. The competition is fierce and because of this, I think that each and every game is a sight to watch.

Jake: What would you say the strengths of each team are?

Frank: I think Gia may indeed be the best asset to his own team. This was proven this past week with a tremendous 3 homerun game. His ability to score runs has helped his team become a real contender for the championship. Oh yeah and don't forget about McConnell and his shitty bunts. Actually wait; bunting is for fags. McConnell sucks.

Jake: hahahahah

Frank: As for Willy's team, it seems that the overall play from all the players working together has made them the best team in the league.

Frank: I see them going far.

Jake: Shit yeah.

Frank: Oh and then there's my team. Well what can I say? The coaching is amazing. The players are buff and good looking. The pitching is outstanding. Hell, I don't think we can get any better. Fuck, why the hell are we in last place. Jesus Christ.

Jake: hahah

Frank: Well whatever, we're gonna make our run. Don't you worry.

Jake: alright

Jake: last question

Frank: ok go for it

Jake: what do you say to those out there who talk shit on your game and your top hat?

Frank: One word my friend. Fuck off. Wait that was two words.

Jake: haha

Frank: It's my rookie year.

Frank: I still have a lot to prove.

Frank: My skills will get better as I mature as a player.

Frank: Oh, and as for the top hat. I think it's a good look for me. What do you think Jake?

Jake: drop dead sexy

Frank: You know what they say about guys with big hats.

Frank: Big noses.

Busted !

2005-06-23T02:13:00.000-04:00

Frank: Oh and one more thing to add to your interview. I want a full investigation into Gia's sudden increase in homerun power. This is more outrageous than the Michael Jackson verdict.

I agree. And so do many players and fans of the WFA. Gia's offensive output in week four just didn't add up. Actually, it added up too much. He had one homerun after 6 games. Then he had four in one day?! What could explain the sudden explosion of wiffle-power? I took Frank's advice and launched a thorough and fair investigation. Here are my findings:

June 16th, 2005 - Gia injures dislocates shoulder while farting.

June 12th, 2005 - Gia hits record 4 dongers.

May 2nd, 2005 - Staib borrows Gia's hat and returns it...without stretching it.

November 27th, 1989 - Gia asks me if I have any "juice" in Mrs. Schwartz's class. I should have seen the signs then.

The proof is in the pudding. The pudding is the stuff I wrote above. Strange injuries, outrageous strength, and an enormous head. And then there is this picture I took during one of his recent rages:

Feel my rage you stupid fucking guitar.

We all know what this means. Gia is on steroids. STEROIDS.

As for a punishment, the Wiffleball for Alcohol league has banned Gia from hitting any more homeruns this year. I hope this embarrassment will not besmirch the highly-held reputation of the league or its players. Thank you.

Wiffleball for Alcohol: Week Four

2005-06-14T12:29:00.000-04:00

Anyone with a degree in History from the presitigious University of Delaware knows the importance of June 12th. The Philippines declared independence (1898), Anne Frank was born (1929) and Al Capone (1931) and Nelson Mandela (1964) were arrested...all on this fateful date. But now the Today in History book my grandmother got me will have to be updated...

On June 12th, 2005, Gia Huynh-ba became the first human ever to hit not one, not two, not three, not twelve, but FOUR homeruns in one weekend. With an effortless swing, the lefty befuddled three different pitchers by sending four wiffleballs into right field. To put this in perspective, he had two more dongers in one game (vs. Team WeinAIRs) than the current second place slugger has (5 players tied with one). A truly Herculean effort. Congrats Gia.

If Gia was the "Rainmaker" on Sunday, it couldn't have come at a better time. With a record of 2 wins and 3 losses (including 3 shutouts), Team Unity was in a serious scoring drought. That all changed starting with the first game of the weekend. Team Unity faced Mandatory Attendance's rookie fireballer Frank "Pilgrim" Gavin. Led by returning Matt "Bunt Master" McConnell, Team Unity jumped out to a 3-0 lead and didn't look back. They took advantage of Frank's shaky control to rack up 10 hits and 6 walks in an offensive explosion. Frankie "Pilgrim" tried his best to help his team out by belting a two run shot in the top of the third inning for his first of the year. After completing his homerun trot, Frank was overheard mumbling "How do my buckle shoes look now, Longface? You should give thanks that I don't buckle-kick you in the ass." He has a temper. But he also had a loss, 6-2.

The second game was quite different. It featured two old rivals on the mound, Mandatory Attendance's Matthew "Andretti" Witham versus Team WeinAIR's Jake "DelaWhaler" Czerwin. Like so many games before, this game turned into a pitching duel. Both pitchers used a variety of carefully placed wiffles to confuse batters and quickly work through the first three innings. Unable to get the "punch-out" pitch he is so famous for, Witham issued two walks in the top of the fourth inning. They turned out to be costly as his "stupid hippie" nemisis stepped up to the plate. Fighting off nasty pitches and a 2-2 count, Jake hit an RBI single over Witham's formidable 'fro to go up 1-0. Matthew cried and everyone had to look away cause it was really embarrassing. Although the entire game was tense, the last inning was tighter than.......okay you all know the girls I hang out with so this analogy isn't going to work. But anyway, it was tight. It was so nail-biting that Mandatory Attendance could barely abide by the rules. So they didn't. In an act of desperation, team captain Mike "I would cheat in a Walk-for-a-Cure Walkathon" Evans batted out of turn in hopes of sparking his team to victory. He did get a hit but Karma was near-instant as Pete popped up to the warning track to end the game. Team WeinAIRs win 1-0.

I am trying to maintain my journalistic integrity but this is painful. The third game of the weekend featured the first place Team WeinAIRs verus the basement-dwelling Team Unity. The WeinAIRs had been playing excellent defense and Unity had been scoring less than my cat Mister (the vet chopped his balls off). It looked to be a sure thumping, right? No. Well yes. In a complete shocker, Team Unity kicked the living crap out of Team WeinAIRs. The slaughter started right off the bat with leadoff specialist getting to second base on a bunt. To add to the insult, Gia slammed the very next pitch into right field to go up 2-0. Team WeinAIRs battled back in the bottom of the inning by hitting two doubles off of rookie pitcher Rich “the Bitch” Derke to score a run. The game remained relatively close until the fourth inning. Pat “Young Fatawan” Mullin began the inning by striking McConnell out (recorded officially as a “gay swing”). Perhaps too confident, he gave Gia a pitch to hit…which he did, over my head for his second homer of the game and third for the day. At this point, people were in awe. Neil was heard saying “I am in awe at this point.” Shaken, Patass issued two walks (Neil & Rich) before giving up a two-run triple to McConnell. Team WeinAIRs tried to mix things up by bringing in rookie “riser-baller” Tommy Ogden. Although his tricky pitch might have worked in the minors, it wasn’t fooling any of the veteran wifflers. In the fifth inning he struck out McConnell before issuing two hits and a walk. McConnell, not one to be fooled twice by the same pitch, sent a rocket into left field for his first career Grand Slam. The WeinAIRs were certainly down, but Gia had more kicking to do. In the sixth inning, Gia “Master Chief of Home Runs” Huynh-ba leveled up in complete Stainless style by hitting his league-record fourth homerun of the day off of reliever Jake Czerwin. When the dust settled, Team Unity emerged victorious with a record for runs scored (13) and a 2-0 record for the day. Congrats, assholes.

Standings:

Team WeinAIRs 5 – 3

Team Unity 4 – 4

Mandatory Attendance 3 – 5

Stats:

Player	AB	H	R	RBI	BB	K	HR	AVG	OBS	Games
Matt McConnell	20	12	8	9	6	5	1	0.600*	0.692*	5
Nick Staib	21	12	2	5	4	2	0	0.571	0.640	8
Gia H.	27	14*	11*	11*	10	6	5*	0.519	0.649	8
Rich the Bitch	10	5	3	2	4	3	0	0.500	0.643	2
Brett McDowell	24	10	5	11*	5	6	1	0.417	0.517	6
Willy Holman	31*	12	6	2	2	14*	0	0.387	0.424	6
Jake Czerwin	26	10	6	2	13*	8	0	0.385	0.590	8
Matt Carney	13	5	1	2	3	4	0	0.385	0.500	4
Pat Mullin	16	5	1	5	5	6	1	0.313	0.476	5
Neil Kremer	20	6	3	4	8	3	0	0.300	0.500	6
Tommy Ogden	7	2	1	0	1	1	0	0.286	0.375	2
Mike Evans	12	3	1	0	9	2	0	0.250	0.571	4
Mike Oleck	20	5	2	1	3	4	0	0.250	0.348	6
Pete Kennedy	10	2	0	3	4	4	0	0.200	0.429	4
Lauren Skelly	11	2	1	1	3	3	0	0.182	0.357	4
Frank Gavin	17	3	1	3	4	4	1	0.176	0.333	4
RBD III	29	5	2	1	3	6	0	0.172	0.250	8
Katie Leckel	12	2	0	0	2	1	0	0.167	0.286	4
Matthew Witham	8	1	2	1	3	3	0	0.125	0.364	4
Anne Ogden	19	2	4	1	10	8	0	0.105	0.414	8
Mark M.	11	1	0	0	2	5	0	0.091	0.231	2
Jack Storm	22	2	3	2	2	5	1	0.091	0.167	6
Mike Fanelli	5	0	2	0	4	2	0	0.000	0.444	2

	W-L	IP	ER	Hs	BB	Ks	HRs	ERA	WH/IP	K/IP
Mike Fanelli	1-0	6	0*	1	8	2	0	0.00*	1.50	0.33
Jake Czerwin	4-0	27*	2	12	12	22	1	0.67	0.89*	0.81
Nick Staib	2-0	10	1	5	4	6	0	0.90	0.90	0.60
Willy Holman	1-0	8	2	6	4	4	0	2.25	1.25	0.50
Jack Storm	1-2	26	7	19	23	31*	1	2.42	1.62	1.19*
Matt Witham	0-1	11	3	8	6	11	0	2.45	1.27	1.00
Matt McConnell	1-0	6	2	5	3	3	1	3.00	1.33	0.50
Rich the Bitch	1-0	6	2	6	3	1	1	3.00	1.50	0.17
RB Diemer	1-2	15	10	17	11	13	2	6.00	1.87	0.87
Pat Mullins	0-1	10	9	12	7	6	3	8.10	1.90	0.60
Frank Gavin	0-1	6	6	10	6	6	1	9.00	2.67	1.00
Neil Kremer	0-1	1.5	3	3	4	0	0	18.00	4.67	0.00
Mike Oleck	0-1	1	2	3	2*	0	0	18.00	5.00	0.00
Gia Hyuhn-ba	0-0	1.5	4	3	3	0	0	24.00	4.00	0.00
Tommy Ogden	0-0	1	4	5	2*	1	1	36.00	7.00	1.00
Matt Carney	0-1	1	4	0*	4	0	0	36.00	4.00	0.00

Wiffleball T-Shirts

2005-06-08T14:52:00.000-04:00

It's time to get stainless. Our 2005 T-shirts are in pre-production as we speak. Now we need some numbers. How many shirts do you want, and what size? Here are the colors:

Mandatory Attendence - Dark blue writing on yellow shirt
Team Unity - Dark blue writing on orange shirt
Team WeinAIRs - Dark blue writing on light blue shirt

Leave a comment with your size and quantity. If you don't, I will just put you down for one baby tee.

It's a Hit!

2005-06-07T13:13:00.000-04:00

You all know Frank Gavin. His titles include world-class drummer, expert raqcuetballer, and mastermind financial guru. Now you can add another: wiffleballer. Yeah, that's right. Frank collected his first hit of the season on Sunday, shooting his average up from .000 to a mind-blowing .083. The MVP race just got a lot more interesting. Congrats Francis.

The Gentleman Wiffler

Wiffleball for Alcohol: Week Three

2005-06-06T21:15:00.000-04:00

Week Three in the Wiffleball for Alcohol League saw things heat up, both literally and figuratively. It was hotter than hell at WFA's home field. If you don't believe me, ask Brett about the 'testicle position-to-temperature ratio' that he developed. He is a scientist. The wiffle action was red hot as well.

The first game started the day off with a bang. Actually, two bangs. Team Unity exploded offensively against Mandatory Attendance with two home runs in the fourth inning. Jack Storm only had one hit for the day, but it traveled a long distance. Approximately sixty feet. With his confidence shaken, RBD III allowed three base-runners before Jack came up to the plate again. Showing true grit, Dirty Bert refused to be intimidated and struck Jack out with a 'Beer Can Strikeout' (when a batter's beer gets knocked off the backstop). Brilliant. The fans sensed that RB and Mandatory Attendance could get out of the inning with minimal damage. Those particular fans were wrong and they are stupid. Gia "I'm a level 53 on Halo" Huynh-ba stepped up and cranked a grand slam into center field. A first for Wiffleball for Alcohol. The five run inning was all Team Unity needed as Mike "Joe Millionaire" Fanelli issued 8 walks but avoided any trouble in his WFA '05 debut. Team Unity takes the win, 5-0.

Game two featured Team Unity versus Team WeinAIRs. Both teams entered the game with hot bats. It was shaping up to be a slug-fest. The first inning lived up to the expectations with a run scored by each team. Team Unity's run was walked in by Jake, giving Neil his first RBI of the year. Team WeinAIR's run was scored by team captain Willy Ho on a single by current RBI leader (11) Brett McDowell. Then things tightened up. Jake regained his control and Jack found his strike out pitches. Only a clutch hit by Matt "Hardcore Punker" Carney could break the deadlock and give Team WeinAIRs a 3-1 win.

Game Three. (If you haven't figured out the schedule rotation by now, please don't reproduce.) The heat really started to wear on the players as game three started. The best example of the sun's effect was seen in the second inning. Mandatory Attendance’s Mike Evans was on first base and teammate Nick Staib was up to bat. Willy threw the pitch and Staiber popped it up to second base. Katie Leckel was about to make the routine play and get Team WeinAIRs out of the inning unscathed when a strange thing happened. The usually calm and collected Mike Evans transformed into a raving, running lunatic somewhere between first and second base. Katie mistook Evan's banshee scream for an attacking wild animal and dropped the ball. My best guess is a case of reverse vampirism. I don't know. The play turned out to be critical as the game was decided by a one run margin, Mandatory Attendance 2 - Team WeinAIRs 1.

Standings:

Team WeinAIRs 4-2
Mandatory Attendance 3-3
Team Unity 2-4

Stats:

	W/L	IP	ER	Hs	BB	Ks	HRs	ERA	WH/IP	K/IP
Jack Storm	1-2	26*	7	19	23	31*	1	2.42	1.62	1.19
Jake Czerwin	3-0*	19	1	4	8	15	0	0.47	0.63*	0.79
RB Diemer	1-2	15	10	17	11	13	2	6.00	1.87	0.87
Pat Mullins	0-0	7	1	6	3	3	0	1.29	1.29	0.43
Nick Staib	2-0	10	1	5	4	6	0	0.90	0.90	0.60
Willy Holman	1-0	8	2	6	4	4	0	2.25	1.25	0.50
Matt Witham	0-0	5	2	6	2*	6	0	3.60	1.60	1.20*
Neil Kremer	0-1	1.5	3	3	4	0	0	18.00	4.67	0.00
Gia Hyuhn-ba	0-0	1.5	4	3	3	0	0	24.00	4.00	0.00
Mike Oleck	0-1	1	2	3	2*	0	0	18.00	5.00	0.00
Matt Carney	0-1	1	4	0*	4	0	0	36.00	4.00	0.00
Mike Fanelli	1-0	6	0*	1	8	2	0	0.00*	1.50	0.33

Player	At Bats	Hits	Runs	RBI	BB	K	HR	AVG	OBS
Matt McConnell	7	4	2	1	4	1	0	0.571*	0.727*
Mike Oleck	20	5	2	1	3	4	0	0.250	0.348
Neil Kremer	11	2	0	1	4	2	0	0.182	0.400
Jack Storm	22	2	3	2	2	5	1*	0.091	0.167
Lauren Skelly	11	2	1	1	3	3	0	0.182	0.357
Gia H.	15	6	4	5	7	3	1*	0.400	0.591
Matt Carney	13	5	1	2	3	4	0	0.385	0.500
Jake Czerwin	20	7	5	1	11*	8	0	0.350	0.581
Katie Leckel	6	2	0	0	1	0*	0	0.333	0.429
Mark M.	6	0	0	0	0	4	0	0.000	0.000
Willy Holman	31*	12*	6*	2	2	14	0	0.387	0.424
Pat Mullin	9	3	0	3	4	3	0	0.333	0.538
Brett McDowell	24	10	5	11*	5	6	1*	0.417	0.517
RBD III	22	3	2	1	3	6	0	0.136	0.240
Anne Ogden	13	1	3	1	9	4	0	0.077	0.455
Mike Evans	8	2	1	0	7	2	0	0.250	0.600
Nick Staib	16	9	2	5	3	1	0	0.563	0.632
Matthew Witham	6	1	2	1	3	2	0	0.167	0.444
Pete Kennedy	5	1	0	3	3	2	0	0.200	0.500
Mike Fanelli	5	0	2	0	4	2	0	0.000	0.444
Frank Gavin	12	1	0	1	3	3	0	0.083	0.267

Team	AB	Hits	Runs	BB	K	HR	AVG
T.U.	91	21	14	27	20	2	0.231
T.W.	109	39	17	26	39	1	0.358
M.A.	82	18	10	31	20	0	0.220